#james is simp nation

[coffeefrenchandhistory]

About Me

I figured I should do this. No idea why. Anyway, it'll get updated... whenever I feel like it should get updated.

Tumblr bio (because it's somehow getting cut off and I don't like that): I'm Josh. 32. Unapologetically Jewish & Zionist. History geek, nerd, and Francophone. I write fanfics on AO3. Slytherin ambition with Gryffindor nerve. Blank/empty/anti-Zionist and antisemitic blogs will be blocked. This blog stands with Ukraine and Israel.

What's your name?

Sir Lancelot of Camelot (and my quest is to seek the Holy Grail) It's Josh [surname redacted]. Pronouns are he/him.

You're on AO3?

I am! I'm currently writing a Wrong-Boy-Who-Lived fanfic (yes, yes, I know, WBWL stories have a... reputation...).

What fandoms do/will you write?

Predominantly Harry Potter if only because that series was my first love and still has a place in my heart. I'm also planning a few fanfics in the Mass Effect, DC, Star Trek, Game of Thrones, original fiction, and Fallout fandoms.

Why?

Well it all started when I was born...

Who are your fanfic idols/inspirations?

@artemisia-black, hands down. She is one of the finest writers I've ever seen, ever had the privilege of interacting with, and I genuinely adore her as a person.

But I'm also a big fan of Frickles, TheSinister_Man, Dorothea Greengrass, and TheEndless7.

What kind of fanfics do you write?

If it's Harry Potter, it's either a Wrong Boy-Who-Lived (WBWL) fic — either with Harry's brother as the believed to be Boy-Who-Lived or Neville as the believed to be Boy-Who-Lived. Or it'll be "action-adventure" where canon diverts this way instead of that way.

Ships?

I mean the USS Massachusetts is pretty neat, but that's also because I was able to visit it when I was a kid.

No, I mean, who do you ship?

Ohhhh!

I'm not a fan of Harry/Ginny, nor Ron/Hermione. Actually, the only canon pairings I like are James/Lily and Ted/Andromeda... that's pretty much it.

For Harry: Lavender (she'd be great for him ngl), Hermione (eh, sometimes), Pansy (enemies to lovers is top tier), Daphne (Haphne is a top tier ship and everyone should know it), Susan, Fleur (I just think she's neat), Tonks (post-war), Andromeda (post-war), Parvati, Padma, and Bellatrix (when it involves time travel).

Most out-there ship you've got?

Ron/Pansy, Hermione/Cormac or Anthony Goldstein/Hermione, Draco/Ginny. Also Kingsley/Bellatrix, Sirius/Aurora Sinistra, and Snape/getting his ass handed to him.

Most cursed ship you've seen?

[trauma intensifies] We don't go there. But I've seen some shit.

What character(s) do you hate the most?

Snape. I despise Severus Snape with every fiber of my being. The fact that Harry names his son after that child-abusing terror supporting racist wank-stain who simped hard for his mother after calling her a bigoted slur is a stain (and wanted her as a prize after he sold Lily, James, and baby Harry out to Voldemort) is the reason I throw the epilogue into the trash where it belongs.

Also Dumbledore, while I do think he's (for the most part) well-meaning, is very much the chess master who got far too up his own ass with how important he is. Also he facilitated child abuse, so I don't like him.

And Molly Weasley, who is an overbearing harpy of a mother who gleefully and maliciously went out of her way to bully a 15 year old girl because she read some bullshit in the Daily Prophet — when a few chapters before she had dismissed the author (Rita Skeeter) as a hack.

What do you do?

I work for a medical provider's office. Specifically, an ophthalmologist's office. Oh, go get your eyes checked!

Do you like it?

So then what do you want to do?

I'm actually getting myself out there to be an actor! And a writer of works that aren't fanfics.

Are you Zionist?

Yes.

What does that — ?

It means I believe Jews have the right to national self-determination in our ancestral homeland.

But what about — ?

That's literally the definition of Zionism. And yes, I do believe that anti-Zionism is antisemitism.

What if I'm an anti-Zionist?

Get off my blog then. I don’t want you here.

[howyouloveyourdragon]

My Page

who's thea? - lol that's me besties hi my name is thea and welcome to my page :) - i am 19 years old and have been posting on here since late november 2022 :) - my dms and inbox are always open! - never feel too shy to approach, im nice i swear! ♡ i stalk all of your pages fr - i have been named queen of jace nation and i bear the title proudly - @aemondx has literally called me "a cupcake full of rainbow sprinkles and sunshine" I CAN LIVE IN PEACE FOREVER, NOTHING CAN HURT ME NOW🙏 - @officerbrowneyes said im like a funfetti cake 😩 i can live in peace - i live in a jace brainrot fr, it's his world we're all just living in it - @its-actually-minicika is my wife fr, do not be alarmed if she sneaks by 👀 - currently collecting as many parental figures as possible, i currently have; - @hopelesswritergall - @madame-fear - @aemondx - @worms-on-a-single-string - @pendragora

requests are now closed any requests sent in right now will be deleted and unanswered

inbox/ask box - is always open for chats and/or any questions you might have - matchups are not a priority, i am getting to them but i've been focusing on other works

accounts - howyouloveyourdragon on ao3 - @simp-aholic is my original account and where i'm most active - @howyourideyourdragon - asoiaf smut reblog account for my smut fics - @straddleandbone - shadow and bone account - @jamescult for impish thirsty hours of seduce me the otome main man james - @theacanread is my account for keeping track of the fics i want to read but haven't gotten to yet - i now officially have a kofi account @ ko-fi.com/sagethea :) i do not expect anything but anything would be appreciated!

icon - my icon was made by the incredible and talented @aemondx so check out my mama sili, their edits are incredible and so are they! ♡

header - my header was made by the amazing and kind @aegonx! please check miranda out she's too nice to me i don't deserve her😭

requesting rules: - if something is sent while requests are closed then it will be deleted and unanswered - if i deem a request too much or it makes me uncomfortable i will not be writing it but i will respond telling you,

i will write - platonic - fluff - angst - nsfw - dark/yandere content - age-gaps

i will not write - any minors unless it is strictly platonic e.g lucerys, rhaena etc - sexual assault - non-consent

my most recent fic

My Masterlists

- ASOIAF SMUT

- CURRENT MULTI-CHAPTERED SERIES' AND TAGLISTS

- Only Fair - rhaenyra targaryen x fem!targaryen!reader - Jessie (Jace)'s Girl - modern hotd au aegon, aemond, jacaerys x fem!reader - All's Well In Love and Enchantments - jacaerys velaryon x witch!reader x queen!rhaenyra targaryen - The Prince and His Corpse Bride - jacaerys velaryon x fem!reader - In Vows of Old (unpublished) - jacaerys velaryon x fem!reader x cregan stark

My Current Poll

My Current Requests

My Current Wips

My Character Taglists

you can find any of my fic recs on the tag ‘fic recs’ or ‘thea’s fic recs’

[static-radio-ao3]

mil I just read the latest frat boy james installment and I have to say the part where he called reg “the old ball and chain” made me giggle & I was like, okay I feel like he can joke and say that, but if someone else did he would turn into that tiktok audio of those podcasters where the one calls the other’s wife a ball and chain and he replies like “don’t refer to my wife as a ball and chain bitch she doesn’t weigh me down she lifts me up she’s the wind beneath my wings.” like james wouldn’t have it

anyways lovely as always <3

oh absolutely,, james wants to name their children “charity carwash potter-black” and “kissing booth potter-black”, he’s not gonna stand for ANY regulus slander EVER (barty gets a pass bc he bankrolled the whole production)

and you’re so right about the tiktok audio,, i can see sirius making a joke all lighthearted and fun about regulus being the ball and chain, and james all adamant that regulus is No Such Thing he is the light of his life, the wind beneath his wings and the ocean breeze in his hair etc etc. the vision is very much “welcome to simp nation. population: james potter”

[nah-she-didnt]

Betrayal

Not another one shot about how James is simp nation!!!! 

----

James was on cloud nine. 

He felt taller than usual, strutting beside Lily as they finished their first round together as Head Boy and Girl. It was Lily’s turn to set the schedule, and to his surprise she had paired them together not once but twice this week. 

When he had asked why she paired them together twice she played it off as a strategic decision. “I want to set an example. I want all those Death-Eaters-in-training to know that we’re not taking any of their shit this year.” He’d nodded solemnly, trying to keep his face straight. He couldn’t help but hope that she just wanted to spend time with him. 

“Alright, let’s check the dungeons one more time, then I think we’re good for the night,” Lily said with conviction. James agreed. He wasn’t about to argue with her, spending time together under any circumstances, even in the depressing dungeons, was his best case scenario. 

“You’re quiet tonight,” Lily said, narrowing her eyes at him, “unusually quiet. Most days I can’t get you to shut up for five minutes.” 

James laughed. “Ah, Evans,” he placed a hand against his heart as if wounded, “you disappoint me! I’m really a very mature, principled man. You’ll realize that if you keep putting us together for rounds.” 

“Hmm” she hummed, “you’re right. Only a mature, principled man could have come up with the brilliant plan to sneak garroting gas to the entire Slytherin quidditch team last week.” 

James’ mouth fell open. “How did you know it was me?”

Lily grinned in his direction. “You just told me, idiot,” but she said the word with more affection than she had in the past. It made his heart skip a beat. 

“Well, you can’t blame me, can you? Talk about Death-Eaters-in-training.” 

Lily was silent for a moment. “No, I suppose I can’t blame you.” 

James stopped in his tracks. “Excuse me?” he said in a sing song voice, dramatically lifting his hand to cup his ear as if to enhance his hearing, “do my ears deceive me? Did you just condone rule breaking, Ms. Head Girl?” 

“Oh, pipe down,” Lily laughed, “like you said, they deserved it. And to tell you the truth you’ve impressed me tonight. You were on time, completely took the reins with those fourth years who were out of bed by the Astronomy Tower, and I didn’t have to say a word when we caught Benjy and Amelia snogging in that broom cupboard.” 

James felt his chest puff out in pride. “Blimey, I think that’s the biggest compliment you’ve ever given me.” 

Lily kept her gaze straight ahead as they approached the stairs. “Don’t push your luck, Potter. The shift’s not over.” Still, he couldn’t help but feel as if he were walking on air as they descended into the damp dungeons. 

They patrolled the first dungeon corridor for a few minutes, and when they felt satisfied that the coast was clear they moved toward the Slytherin common room. A disgusting scent filled their nostrils as they approached the dormitory. As they turned the corner James heard whispered voices and felt his heart sink. 

“Hand me that bucket, will you, Pete?”

“Get it yourself! It’s closer to you anyway.” 

“Quit being a brat, this is a team effort!”

“Oh no it’s not, I’m not putting my name on such a juvenile prank.” 

“Come on, Moony! This is brilliant! I saw it on a muggle tellyfission show once.” 

“Yes, but-” 

“Excuse me,” said Lily loudly. All three boys jumped and whirled around. Peter held a bucket full of what smelled like stink sap. Sirius had his wand raised and pointed towards the top of the door frame. Remus raised his hands in front of him as if to say he had nothing to do with the scene before them. 

“Really? You really had to choose tonight, when James and I were on duty, to prank the Slytherins?” 

Sirius recovered quickly, stowing his wand inside his robes. “Ah, Evans,” he said jovially, “you don’t seriously think we’d prank our dear friends in Slytherin, do you? Why, I just couldn’t live with myself if you thought I was the type to do such a thing.” 

“Then why is Pete holding a bucket of stink sap?”

“Because we were were cleaning up a spill!” Remus interjected, pushing Sirius out of the way, “some careless student must have dropped it right in front of the common room, and we decided to clean it for them.” 

Lily crossed her arms, but said nothing. Finally she stepped back and looked expectantly at James. “Well?” 

James stared at her. “Well what?”

Lily gestured to the guilty party. “You’ve been on a disciplinary roll tonight. Don’t let me get in your way. You’re Head Boy, they are rule breakers, do your worst.”

James laughed uneasily. “No, you aren’t serious-” 

“Dead serious! Come on, let’s see what you’ve got.” Lily looked stern, but a smile crept at the corners of her mouth. It was incredibly attractive. 

Sirius stepped forward, moving to throw an arm around James’ shoulders. “Silly Evans, James is one of us. He would never-” 

“Ten points from Gryffindor!” James blurted out before he could stop himself. 

Peter gasped. Remus let out a loud chuckle, then slapped a hand to his mouth to hide his glee. 

Sirius gaped at him. “Traitor!” 

“Is that all?” Lily smirked, “They could have covered some poor first year in stink sap by mistake, and all they get is 30 points off Gryffindor?” 

James rounded on his friends again. “And a night of detention!” 

“I called you brother!” Sirius shrieked, clutching at his heart at this betrayal. Remus’ shoulders shook with laughter in the background. 

“Excellent job. You really are more mature than I thought.” Lily, satisfied, gave the boys one last smug look. “Well gentlemen, I hope you’ll think twice about rule breaking now that there’s a new sheriff in town. I think that’ll do for tonight’s rounds, eh Potter? Ta boys!” And with that, she turned on her heel and marched back up the corridor. 

James felt dazed as he watched her walk away. She had said he did an excellent job. That he was more mature than she thought. That she had a deep burning passion for him - no, that had been his imagination. Beaming, James turned to share his victory with his friends. 

Instead, Sirius smacked him across the head. “Git! You sold us out!” 

James raised his hands in surrender. “Oh come on! She would have given you detention anyway! Think of this as a favor, you guys just made me look great in front of her.” 

“Oh, yes,” said Peter sarcastically, “that really takes away the sting of your treachery.” 

James rounded on Remus. “Moony! You’re a prefect! You know I had no choice, right?” 

Remus considered him for a moment, still trying to hide the smile that betrayed his utter delight with the situation. 

“Well... all I can say, mate, is that Lily has got you completely wrapped around her wand.” And he burst into laughter. 

The smile slid from James’ face. No. It couldn’t be...

Sirius started to laugh too. “Blimey, I didn’t think I’d ever see it. James Potter, a narc.” 

“I am NOT a narc!” James yelled, lunging at Sirius, who gracefully stepped out of his reach, “I knew exactly what I was doing.” 

“I’m sure you did, but you’re one hundred percent whipped, my friend.” 

Peter laughed now too, and soon all three boys were doubled over, howling in laughter at their friend’s predicament. James could only stand in silently, arms crossed defiantly across his chest, and wait for his friends to regain control over themselves. 

Finally, when their laughter subsided into badly-supressed giggles, James spoke. “Alright, say I am ‘whipped,’ what do you say lads? Do you think I have a shot with her?” 

His friends stared at him for a moment, shared a bemused look, then pushed past James towards the stairs out of the dungeons. 

“Oi! Wait up! Do I have a shot or not?”  

[jam3sp0ttery]

WHEEZE HERE WE GO AGAIN

[percy-the-diet-coke]

"I fell in love with a fictional character"

[lnkedmyheart]

Semi regular reminder that

James Bond is trans.

The main characters are all patriots. Not nationalists. Not loyalists. Patriots. They put the people before the nation or the government.

Sherlock has explicitly said he is not into women.

Mary is insanely perceptive and great at deduction and reasoning to the point she impressed Sherlock.

John Watson is a ladies man but simps like a mfer for Mary.

All three Moriarty brothers are deeply disturbed individuals with Louis being the most stable yet second most ruthless.

Albert shows signs of deep depression and OCPD.

Moran and Moneypenny are incredible and dynamic characters.

Sherlock and William are massive simps for each other.

While there aren't many women in the series owing to the lack of women in the original medium, the women that ARE in the story are all badasses.

The treatment of material in the story, particularly given the era it is set is, is very progressive. From the way mental health is handled (without demonizing the person but by getting them to work on themselves) to Sherlock growing to actually respect women through Irene and getting Moran to accept Bond into the team as well as see him as a man. Yes, people would not have been this progressive at the time but team Moriarty are literally a group of social misfits and outcasts fighting against an oppressive, discriminatory system and are all about found family. That's very lgbtq+ of them.

Edit- discreetly adding an edit here to let you know this is about yuumori, I'm so sorry for all the confusion.

My bad! (｡ﾉω＼｡)

[macaron-n-cheese]

Ok I just finished the RevWar episode in the Washington miniseries and am on the next one. I have lots of thoughts! I'll add photos once my computer works!

- Elizabeth Powell, Maria Reynolds, and James Monroe? I came for a biography not a drama!

- Why does it start with horse breeding?!?!?!

- They're playing Hail Columbia so much <3333

- There's so much tension between Jefferson and Hamilton already

- James Madison is so wholesome yeahhhh fight the speculators!

- "William Duer an honorable man" - Alexander Hamilton. I am crying he is so wrong sjdjsjdjsjdj swindled idiot Hamilton.

- Hamilton is just getting shadier and shadier "If I pass this investigation will I be the one who is the villain."

- Madison and Jefferson are such besties I love it!

- Hamilton: "Are you alright?" Washington: "yes" *collapses for the millionth time this series* Why does he always get to sick!?!? Poor Washington:(

- I like how Washington calls Hamilton "Alex," good son

- Jefferson: "Washington wants to talk to you" Hamilton: "I hate you" Jefferson: "shush please" Martha Jr.: ( 0_0)

- Fishing scene <3

- AU where Jefferson and Madison predict the Great Depression so they oppose a National Bank

- Jefferson and Madison: NOOOO STONKS!!!

- Awww at least they make Maria Reynolds sweet wait oh no now she is a simp :(

- Reynolds affair :((((((((( I like the theory that is just made up by James Reynolds and Hamilton

- Everyone hates Hamilton lol

- The Gay Trio II: hehehe sneaky we hate Hamilton

- Washington: "Hamilton and Jefferson, talk to me." Them: *fight*

- I love that Hamilton calls Jefferson a Caesar even though Hamilton's alias was Caesar

- Death threats to Hamilton <3

- Hamilton receiving his 3rd death threat in a week: I've been a naughty boyyyy

- Maria: Gaslight, Girlboss, Gatekeep (toxic type). This is the most toxic someone can get.

- Gay trio ii: Omg lol Hamilton is spiraling ehehehehe

- BETSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Ooooooooh Hamilton is in trouble

- They just are like "wow we didn't think that you were that bad"

- Jefferson is pretty chill :) also nice funny coat

- Monroe and Jefferson are great

- Monroe: "This could be our only chance destroy him" Jefferson: "Haha there will be many more"

- Washington: "Here Hamilton take apple" Hamilton: *throws*

- Hamilton is being so mean to his "dad" :(

- Poor Washington and the newspaper. Shut up Jefferson.

- The way the French people call each other "citizen" reminds me if people calling each other "comrade."

- Thank you Jefferson for urging neutrality

- They're being so mean to Washington >:( meanies. Democratic-Republicans being so mean and ignorant! No wonder why they had an electoral college, common people didn't know what was going on in the government!

- I love that when Washington comes they all leave in shame

- I love that both Jefferson and Washington give the French ambassador the death glare. I'm happy that Jefferson and Washington cam agree on that XD

[severevoiddragon]

SONGS

First of all, here's the full playlist:

I'll just go through the songs I have full animatics for ! * Means it appears on someone else's list too. Sorry for the amount of (spoilers) I can expand upon them if you don't care bout spoilers :D and if there's any ones you want the full animatic to I can spend 5 hours telling you that too 🥰 not all these songs were chosen by me. They were mostly chosen by one of my besties who originally made the playlist for me n then I made my own version adding my songs. So. Yeah.

All:

She Doesn't Sleep (Anthony Amorim) - This is pretty much describes Arc 1, with Rin coming to Callie like "hey my bestie is acting Weird" n Callie constantly trying to find answers

Curses (The Crane Wives) - This is mostly Cyan focused but also explains arc 2's plot! Spoilers !

Little Lion Man (Mumford & Sons) - Cyan focused recap of the ENTIRE SERIES WOOOO. So spoilers.

Callie:

For the. Main character. Girlie doesn't have their own song animatic

Look Who's Inside Again* (Bo Burnham) (See Charles) - Just in there to show Parallels™

Choke - Acoustic* (I don't know how but they found me) (See Cyan / Other)

Cyan:

Lonely* (Brad Sucks) (See Rin) - Rin and Cyan meeting, and their arcs over arc 2 :D

Body (Mother Mother) - Cyan feeling like they're not in control of themselves sometimes

Waltzing Memories (Priscilla Ahn) - Cyan remembers their sister <3

Our Town (James Taylor) - Cyan remembers what the town used to be like, n tell Rin a bit about themselves

Deep Inside My Heart (Priscilla Ahn) - It's just very cyan coded

Two Birds* (Regina Spektor) (See Rin) - Arc 2 but they are a QPR your honour. Rin is able to move on from Everwich but Cyan isn't </3

Rin:

Nothing Left To Lose* (Tangled: The Series) (See Em) - Arc 2 so spoilers. Cyan is Jeremy Jordan's character (Varian)

Exile, Vilify (The National) - Just Cyan being a weirdo loner who lives in the walls. Like Rattmann from Portal, who this song was written for !

Hiding In Your Hands (Pasek & Paul) - Rin lamenting how she feels depressed despite appearing to have a perfect life (arc 1)

Alone* (Nico Collins) (See Jamie) - Shows the Walker-Ives family n how. Dysfunctional. It is. Including Rins older brother, and how it's the same story throughout all 3 kids and how Rin has to always pick up the pieces

Lonely* (Brad Sucks) (See Cyan)

Sweet Hibiscus Tea (Penelope Scott) - Rin just being a depressed loser tbh (affectionate)

People I Don't Like (UPSHAL) - Rin going to parties when she moves to the city pre arc2 (features cyan briefly)

Our Word (36 Questions) - Yeah Rin's family really aren't the best are they? (The animatic deliberately doesn't line up w the lyrics BC it's like. This is what We said happened, this is what Actually happened)

Seventeen* (Heathers) (See Em) - Rin and Emilia being cute while dating <3

One Thing* (36 Questions) (See Em) - Rin and Emilia having an argument after Rin comes back from the city in arc 2

Brutal (Olivia Rodrigo) - Rin leaving Everwich feeling very upset n annoyed at everyone else

Woke Up (Adventure Time) - The Breakup <3

Choke - Acoustic* (I Don't Know How But They Found Me) (See Cyan/Other)

Two Birds* (Regina Spektor) (See Cyan)

I've Had Enough* (Melina KB) (See Em) - The Breakup Part 2 <3

Emilia:

Monster (Frozen the Musical) - Uhhh arc 1 spoilers were close to discovering so I'm keeping these very spoilers

Asher:

Love Like You (Rebecca Sugar) - Em simping for Rin <3

Cloud 9 (Beach Bunny) - See above tbh

Chosen Last (Sara Kays) - Em feeling like an outsider of the friend group BC she joined late

Seventeen* (Heathers) (See Rin)

One Thing* (36 Questions) (See Rin)

Moral of the Story (Ashe) - Em convincing herself that it's okay if a relationship didn't work out

Words Fail (Dear Evan Hansen) - Em apologising at the end of arc 2

Rearview (Beach Bunny) - Em being upset after The Breakup™

The Dismemberment Song (Blue Kid) - This is just villain au em but it's fun

Little Miss Perfect (Joriah Kwamé) - Em discovering she likes Rin :D

Prom Queen (Beach Bunny) - There's a lot of Beach Bunny. Em and her body image issues that i never talk about

Nothing Left to Lose* (Tangled: The Series) (See Cyan)

I've Had Enough* (Melina KB) (See Rin)

Xavier:

Sports Go Sports (Garfunkel and Oats) - Asher cheering Xavier on during his sports games <3

The Bro Duet* (George Salazar, Jason Grotay) (See Xavier) - Just Xavier and Asher being gay idiots in love (affectionate) (arc 1 version)

I'll Cover You* (Rent) (See Xavier) - Just Xavier and Asher being gay idiots in love (affectionate) (arc 2 version)

Heather (Conan Gray) - um. Spoilers.

Happier (Olivier Rodrigo) - um. More spoilers. For the same reason.

Jamie:

The Bro Duet* (George Salazar, Jason Grotay) (See Asher)

I'll Cover You* (Rent) (See Asher)

Charles:

Alone (Nico Collins) (See Rin)

Disobedient (Steven Universe) - Arc 2 Jamie after Rin leaves and then comes back (she's not okay)

Kitty:

This Is Home (Cavetown) - Charles at Kitty's Ball, and The Aftermath

Duet* (Omori) (See Kitty) - THEY ARE MARI AND SUNNY CODED OKAY. Charles plays piano, Kitty plays violin. It just fits.

Look Who's Inside Again* (Bo Burnham) (See Callie) - Charles being a kid who was stuck in his room. There isn't much more to say about it. (Also shows the parallels between him n Callie)

In The Bedroom Down The Hall (Pasek & Paul) - Not TECHNICALLY Charles BC it's his mum, but it's Charles' mum lamenting the empty room after he disappeared, and then Em's mum lamenting her growing apart from Aiden (Em's twin brother), and Rin's mum lamenting the constant fights it is with Rin's brother

Duet* (Omori) (See Charles)

First Burn (Lin Manuel-Miranda) - An AU where Kitty actually sent a love letter to her lover, and Other messed it all up for her.

Floating (Pretty Balanced) - Kitty and her lover </3 it's a tragic tale

Cyan / Other (This is either Other itself, Other And Cyan or Cyan About Other):

Under My Skin (Jukebox The Ghost) - Other being a menace

Evelyn Evelyn (Evelyn Evelyn) - During Arc 1 when Cyan realised Other is a dirty liar and isn't actually good (it manipulated cyan into thinking that. Because it's a dirty little liar.)

Goodbye (Bo Burnham) - spoilers :)

Choke - Acoustic* (I Don't Know How But They Found Me) (See Callie & Rin) - Other possessing Cyan during arc 2. It doesn't go well.

Nocturnal Me (Echo and the Bunnymen) - Other being a menace to Cyan

Every Breath You Take (The Police) - Other being a menace to Cyan

Play With Me (Extreme) - Other being a menace to Cyan)

We'll Meet Again (Vera Lynn) - ohhh this is Other at the end of arc 1 :)

Insane (Black Gryph0n) - Look I dislike the creator of Hazbin for many reasons and the series reminds me of an ex friend now but. You gotta admit this song is Other all over. Specifically Other at the start of act 2 when Cyan returns

Some fun facts about SoE that have no meaning in no order just when I thought of them

Rin n co studied Jekyll and Hyde for English GCSE (which was at the same time as SoE was happening). Because of this, when she was an adult, she recommended the book to Cyan, who hadn't read it before. They read it n went "omg lol this is me", much to Rin's concern

Cyan has an older sister who I don't talk about enough- but also they don't remember her at all so it doesn't matter (<- definitely has a name for her yep)

Callie is an unreliable narrator (ik I said this a couple days ago but expanding on it a lil - there are some parts she is intentionally hiding from the audience. she has slipped up a couple times while trying to keep these hidden things hidden)

I've written up to episode 11 (the denouement) but I'm unsure of pacing and everything so :( idk :( I like Episode 6 so I'm posting at least all 3 parts of that (there's one more Episode 6 hehe)

I have a whole Bad Ending AU which I'm tempted to get you guys to vote on which ending. Except I won't tell you which ending you get. This will only come into play at the end of arc 2 and tbh this is motivating me to finish arc 1-

Cyan loves fireworks and once they're besties w Callie, she invites them to their annual new year's celebrations. The town of Everwich is invited but Cyan used to just sneak in. It makes Cyan happy they finally are allowed to come <3

Kitty was NOT interested in James Beaumont, the guy she was likely to marry. She did not know this. She thought all girls wanted to hug and kiss their friends. This is because she was in the Georgian era.

Charles n Callie have SO MANY PARALLELS. BUT I CANT SHARE THEM. BECAUSE SPOILERS.

Callie is the only one other than cyan to be able to see Other :)

If anyone wants to hear about the music for my ocs pls ask BC I have a lot of Thoughts™ about those

[fighting-god-69]

I think part of why people here love books so much is that so many book characters mess up and do super awkward things around their love interests and they still end up getting their love interest in the end. And it gives us hope that we can be super awkward and still end up with someone great. Examples, including but not limited to:

Kaz Brekker: calls the girl hes simping for an investment

Gideon Lightwood: hoards croissants under his bed for months on end as an excuse to talk to Sophie

Gabriel Lightwood: "You must really like that horse"

Alec Lightwood: falls down the stairs on his first date

Will Herondale: this man did many things. Tbf most of those things were because of his curse but still. He did get the girl

Gansey: accidentally calls his true love a prostitute when they first meet

Simon Lovelace: has to be rescued by the girl he eventually ends up with on the night they met because he got himself turned into a rat (also the two timing thing, even tho they weren't officially together)

Cardan Greenbriar: exiled his wife while giving her an ambiguous riddle to get herself unexiled and was surprised when she got mad at him

Jesper Fahey: roasts Wylan a lot in the beginning. And the first indicator that he likes Wylan is by telling Wylan that he "likes his stupid face" (this was still romantic. But it could count as it's own blunder)

Henry Fairchild: spends years of his marriage thinking his wife just married him to be nice and ends up making her think the same for him because he never actually vocalized his feelings

Peeta Mellark: the girl he loves finds out he loves her because he tells the whole nation on a television broadcast

Ron Weasley: too many blunders to list

James Potter: also far too many blunders to list

[frogs-spawn]

THE MARAUDERS AS THE GAANG

avatar: the last airbender

james as aang:

(has a saviour complex and is a massive simp, somehow manages to pull a girl way out of his league, and we respect him for it)

lily as katara:

(an absolute powerful badass that misogynists seem to hate, and also the mother hen)

sirius as sokka:

(the hot one. also very funny and doesn't take anything too seriously, is very intelligent, which some people overlook, unless if he is with aang, james, then he literally has one brain cell)

remus as zuko:

(the painfully awkward one with low self esteem. some people think he's terrifying, yes i am comparing the fire nation to werewolves. also #zukka anyone?)

dorcas as toph:

(i know a badass lesbian when i see one. people think she's all sweet and cuddly, then bam! you're dead)

marlene as suki:

(a powerful feminist warrior that doesn't take shit from anyone. some people ship with sokka, sirius, but that eyeliner screams anything but straight)

peter as this bitch:

(i really don't need to explain this)

[portugalisinsa]

Btw I realize I never ended up writing what I thought about the ESC so here’s my thoughts

I did enjoy Serbia’s song and the performance art she put on

Moldova’s song was amazing, I was transported to an Eastern European wedding and I for one adore that

Moldova’s song reminded me of Gogol Bordello, which is my way of saying- Ukraine when will you send Gogol Bordello????

I also really liked Ukraine’s song, they never phone it in, they always go full in. Loving the flute renaissance btw

I am literally listening to Lithuania’s song as we speak

Latvia and Norway were good. i enjoyed Latvia’s energy, but I think that by the end of the song I was ready to move on. Norway’s, on the other hand? Always a pleasure

ACHILLE LAURO, MY LOVE, I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY DID THAT TO YOU I’M SO SORRY BABY

Which btw the absolute whiplash of Australia’s performance after San Marino lolololol

I really loved what Australia was doing with the costuming. Like actually loved staring at the singer’s clothes. Shame about the song.

You can take the European away from Europe, but you can’t take the Eurotrash childhood out of the European. Which is my way of saying that I liked Croatia and Austria, to the great bafflement of my North American friends and spouse. i’m sorry, spouse and friend. That’s my childhood.

I liked Belgium’s song, and no one is more surprised than me about this fact (I have a prejudice against non-funny pop songs at Eurovision). Like????? But in my defense, I was fascinated by the fact that it sounded like a James Bond song. And I do generally like James Bond songs so, uhm... *shrugs*

Speaking of non-funny pop songs at Eurovision that I somehow enjoyed to my own surprise; Ireland. I think my brain was being ironic or something? Idk she seemed nice tho

Continuing the shocking enjoyment of pop songs; Romania. At first I was too shocked by him speaking Spanish to skip it, then fruity business was happening and then I ended up listening to all of it and I was like “i mean, idk, the song is catchy and I was confused, so peak Eurovision i think?”

I did enjoy Estonia’s song, though I think most of it was the allure of Orville Peck

Circus Mircus my babies what have they done to you ç_ç

We stan hypnotic Iceland sirens playing something kinda country

Btw dear god Iceland contains multitude. The country just has the range

The UK guy was really sweet. I have absolutely no memory of what he sung.

Finland has, in the last years, sent what i lovingly define as “baby’s first metal”. I mean this with all the love and affection in my heart. Anyway, this year they literally sent baby’s first metal.

It’s me. I am baby. The Rasmus were one of me first metals.

I loved them they just looked so happy to be there

What the fuck why didn’t Albania pass? Of all the girlboss songs, she was working it

For fuck’s sake, Spain. You could have sent Tanxugueiras instead. We could have had Tanxugueiras instead

If I haven’t mentioned a country, it’s because i have forgotten about it and therefore didn’t like it, with the exception of Italy. I have a message about Italy.

You people are just simps for Italian. They sent a boring ballad that would have been mocked to hell and back had the Netherlands sent it, but Italy does it and “oh my god it’s so good, the voice like an angel, every time i cry, 12 points.” We can send the saddest guy on a piano and half of Europe will go “oh my god outstanding showstopping literally never done before Italy is always out here raising the bar”

Like I understand my Italian brethen, they’re blinded by nationalism, but the rest of Europe baffles me. I mean Mahmood sent you “Soldi”, you must know he can do better than the boring ballad! You people got “Brividi” when Mahmood makes bangers like “Barrio”! You could have been listening to Barrio all this time!!!!!!!!!

[dog-day-morning]

The word of God tells us we shall suffer for the cause of Christ, he who seeks a greater reward must attain a greater faith. Unto whom much is given that much more is required. You wanna eat that whole caramel cake, you crave that sweet tea, you pursue that woman in a nightclub hoping to get her in a compromised position, face down tail up because face it, we're not willing to bow down to the will of God, but we’re so happy, and ready to give in to that round mound of doo doo brown. The 3 Hebrew boys Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego went into the fiery furnace defying Nebuchadnezzar's declaration to worship him. These men had the inspiration, strength, and courage to say, even if He doesn't deliver us, we know that He can. That kind of faith is called perfected faith. We can be lazy because we refuse to work with what God gave us before the day of calamity comes to devour us. Tribulation is kicking into high gear, and many of God’s people are none the wiser. There are people who were working 3 jobs before, and after this pandemic became a global concern who know what is on the horizon. You don't need an Issachar spirit to discern the times; read the Bible. He also said to the crowds, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, you say at once, ‘A shower is coming.’ And so it happens. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, ‘There will be scorching heat,’ and it happens. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time? The gov't has pulled back on unemployment benefits forcing many to find a job. The 2 righteous servants in the parable of the 3 servants increased the wealth of their employer who trusted 3 men with different amounts of talents [money], and the 1 who didn't work diligently for his master inherited weeping, and gnashing of teeth. God invested in us, and He expected a greater return from this major investment. Jesus was the greatest financial venture ever made. The Father placed His faith in His Son who in turn gave Him many more sons that walk amongst us waiting for the Day of Judgment. This investment which supersedes all, but are intertwined will never decrease, and forever increase. The 144,000 isn't a spiritually inspired interpretation based on mine, and Mima getting the Holy Ghost or having an encounter with the Holy Spirit to speak in tongues. Sit down grandma, your Depends are leaking brown stuff that reeks of formaldehyde, and raw chitlins. God is looking for a righteous Nation to worship Him not themselves. These men, and boys who represent the 12 tribes of Israel have never been defiled by women, and hopefully not by men either. You lucky mother You can take the word literally or as a misinterpretation. Those who don't believe in the written word who believe that God's word isn't infallible aren't all to blame for this heresy. Those who originally interpreted the King James Bible added to, and took from are suffering for a misleading interpretation. The prophetic which God didn't let man corrupt altogether has pretty much played out verbatim. We may be dying to a world that is trying to kill our faith that God has no intention of doing until He finds His true worshippers, and He’ll never destroy one's faith in Him. Winter is coming and you and I must be prepared. We must live like today is our last without being caught up in fear. I'm suffering from a form of laziness called jackass. God shall supply all your needs, but faith without works is dead. The ant has the intuition to work throughout the Summer knowing that Winter is coming. A lot of these drones won't live to see the finished product. Ant mounds look like the Pyramids of Giza that secure the Queen, but where is the King? They serve the one who gives life that sustains the colony, she is their goddess, but what happens if the Queen dies? There's more than one Queen serving the colony who can breed an entire colony independent of one other. fulfilling their role while working together in unison with the others who all serve a greater purpose. This

is a major element that drives the Kingdome of heaven. Christ is just like His Father In the Kingdome that includes the Holy Spirit which they will pour upon all flesh again soon. There are no cowards or sinners in the Kingdome. The angels are not as drones, they are blessed warriors.

Revelation 21:8

8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

1 Corinthians 6:8-10

8 Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Alkebulan we need to wake up and get right. Black American's of the tribes of Judah, Gad, Reuben, and Issachar you need to aim at my forehead, and scatter my scatter brained grey matter all over the pavement. When Joe Biden told a radio podcaster if you don't vote for me you're not Black, he must be color blind. This vaccine that suspiciously looks like the Mark of Whodunnit. They can plant a microchip in your arm that can track your every move, financial transaction, and possibly your dreams while you sleep. Some Walmart stores are refusing to take cash when you check out; they only take debit, and credit cards. These are signs that we’re living in the End Times. The Last Days. I'm looking at this as a sign to get the hell outta this city, and decompose. What in God's name am I afraid of? Jesus took a beat down like a man on a mission.. You're not weak or simping if you gave your life for a people you fed, healed, gave sight to, preached to, taught them a new way to live, pray, love, told them about a Kingdome greater than Jerusalem, and you didn't kill anybody in the process knowing what they were going to do to your physical body in an almost retarded like bid to destroy their salvation. I've done none of that; my bad. Stop looking for men, especially zaddy to deliver us. “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” Some of us foolheartedly called Bill Clinton the first Black president when he's not, never can, or will be to me in any sense, Barack wasn't either. Thomas Jefferson, the third elected president, who served two terms between 1801 and 1809 was described as the “son of a half-breed Indian squaw (Black) and a Virginia mulatto father (Black).” Abraham Lincoln, the nation’s 16th president, served between 1861, and 1865. Lincoln had very dark skin, and coarse hair and his mother allegedly came from an Ethiopian tribe. His heritage fueled so much controversy that Lincoln was nicknamed “Abraham Africanus the First” by his presidential opponents and cartoons were drawn depicting him as a Negro. Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Dwight David Eisenhower, and the scourge of the South Andrew Jackson were all n**gahs. I’ll see you come Hanukkah you self-hating black, Uncle Ruckus’s. I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, why should I be overjoyed about the genocide, and enslavement of God's people? Christmas is what it is. Hopefully you will celebrate this holiday season together fulfilling God's prophetic word. I can't unless you kill me. The Christmas holiday is as pagan as Joel Osteen is at scamming. David Duke, you might wanna go to ancestry.com, and take a DNA test. You might be 30% Swahili. By the looks of those big, gorilla nostrals you had before that rhinoplasty. You, and Bull Connor may be related to Idi Amin. Your biggest shame is your greatest blessing. Personally you can kiss the skid marks in the middle of my skid marks after I take a fresh dump. Conservative, political pundits, and wannabes whose names I won't mention, but one in particular who looks like he smoked 23 blunts in 15min. with no filter. Please keep him in California, and let him drown with his zaddy, and pancaked tail, bowed hipped women. Use your lips as a floatation device dude. These people are ashamed of the God who has blessed many, and plenty. These people suffer, hopefully not always, from the white savior or white zaddy complex. The truth isn't in any of them, that's why they're so adept at lying when making bold-faced statements before the public that opposes their previous opinion like people don’t have YouTube or google. I’ll Bing a factoid or Yahoo that mother to get the truth I may even pay for it, gimme a dollar. My inability to walk amongst men as a man has stagnated my propensity to live That's BS, my Apostle said something this past Sunday that's stuck on my forehead. YOU'RE LAZY!!! I am what I am, a pain in the rear end. This has gone on way too long. Sometimes

I feel as though God wants me to kill myself because the PO PO won’t. I would feel better if my natural family would stab me in the neck, not my back, with a piece of diseased, pork, spare rib from a boar hog, and let me die from a rare form of trichinosis. The people have spoken while I’m playing Jay, and Silent Bob. Father, get me outta here. Elohim, 9/16/2021

[rwbyconversations]

RWBY Volume 7 Review

Two weeks out from Volume 8 and I finally cared enough to write this. Go team I guess. 

Part of it came down to my feelings on Volume 7. It’s a complicated season that’s made me realize a lot of my overall feelings on RWBY as a series, particularly a lot of the less flattering feelings. Volume 7 is just... frustrating in general, as for all the good that it does have, and it does have a lot of great elements to it, it’s let down by a frustrating script and writing choices that feel distinctly amateurish, especially as the series moves on and gets better and better looking each year. There’s elements and kernals here of great character writing, season-wide arcs that land in a really good way and get me emotionally invested in the characters. But on the other... Ren only has two hundred words the entire season and you can tell! 

Volume 7 is a season of dizzying highs, some of the best moments of the entire franchise... and some of the series lows. It’s a season where there’s no production reason for its shortcomings... it just comes down to an awkward script that focuses on the wrong elements far too often. Let’s talk about that. In a very long and drawn out manner.

Thanks to @jamesbranwen​, @h-e-m-o-goblin​ and @retro-riffraff​ for help with GIFs and consultation on this review.

1) The Good Stuff!

A) Atlas is very pretty!

I cannot stress enough how on a set level, Volume 7 is leaps and bounds above the other seasons in sheer environmental detail and setting dressing. Mantle has a great atmosphere with its New York influences, the smog covered backgrounds and oppressive streets and alleys. Ironwood’s office which is deliberately designed to evoke astronomy themes to represent James’ love for the stars. The cold oppressive atmosphere of the Schnee Manor and how Jacques has begun warping it to glorify him with only lip service paid to Nicholas in public. Penguins! 

There’s a lot of great set design work that went into this season and the crew deserve props for it. Genuinely. 

B) Ironwood’s arc is the best character arc in the entire franchise

Yeah just wearing my heart on my sleeve there, I fucking love Ironwood and his character arc here in Volume 7 is the best written arc of the show. I simp for the tin man who just wants to do the right thing. This one season of content is better than a lot of the series-wide material being honest. I went back to James’s big volumes in the last month to rewatch the show and it’s interesting to see the early seeds in retrospect for where his arc goes. His need to protect everyone he can and the brutish measures he considers necessary for such an act, his conflicting loyalties towards Ozpin that manifest in both frustration at Oz’s seeming apathy to the growing conflict, but also desperate desire for validation from Ozpin that what’s he doing is the right call. After the Mistral seasons set up James as going off the deep end following Volume 3, having him open the season with an earnest smile, an immediate apology for the team’s arrest and trusting them with his plans for Amity and Salem is a jarring but pleasant surprise. He’s not been slacking off, he’s been trying to keep the world together in the way he thinks is best. He lets his guard down around the heroes and we see the good man underneath, which makes the moments where he raises his walls hurt all the more. While Em and Merc are still probably my favorite characters period, James is absolutely my favorite character in Volume 7 and Top 5 favorite characters series-wide. I’m very eager to see where he goes from here. He also rocks the beard and fixed his T-Rex arms so James came out of the washing machine that is Volume 7′s costume design. He truly is the Best Boi, and I cannot give Jason Rose enough credit for his performance this year. He hit every note of Ironwood’s character perfectly and I wish the fandom would give him more credit for giving James as much life as he does.

Oh, and as the obligatory comment on mlm rep that I am known for getting obsessively weird anon hate over: IronQrow hug nearly had me crying on a convention floor from how goddamn soft it was. Remember conventions? Ah good times.

This just... hits me... ya know? Seeing him lower his guard so much to come in for a hug just shows how isolated he’s let himself become to let himself have this moment of contact... Godamnit James. Also this is the second time after Martial Arcs that two guys hug and I really liked their ship for the following hiatus. 

C) Soft Qrow hours are nice

Qrow’s a good guy, he went through a lot of bad stuff in Volume 6 but now he’s on the other side and purged his voice of the demon within. I think Volume 7 was a very good year for Qrow overall. It was great to see him interacting with more characters his age and lowering his own guard. His moments of letting the facade drop around James and Clover especially are great expansion for his character. Jason Liebritch hit the ground running as Qrow and gave him a far more dynamic range than I think Vic could. While I wish Qrow going off alcohol had been given more of a focus as it’s kind of done off-handedly that he’s gone cold turkey and otherwise doesn’t get brought up barring his revulsion at the wine in the Schnee Manor, he overall had a great year. And trust me I’ll get to the fights later, I have a lot more I can say about the bird boi there. 

D) I liked the Ace Ops! 

I was ambivilent towards the Ace Ops on first watching. They’re kinda underdeveloped in the context of the season at large and most people immediately pegged them as a miniboss squad/fodder for Salem to kill. But in rewatch they do still get to shine, if not as brightly. They’re very enjoyable. Clover especially is just really fun in retrospect, I love cocky fighters in general, and he was infectiously enjoyable (I’ve already covered the FG stuff in the past, not doing it again). Marrow came a close second because... well it’s Marrow, he is The Best Boi. Harriet got points for being a punchgirl which is always cool, I liked how her Semblance was shown and being cocky while being able to back it up is always a win. Elm and Vine are tied for dead last, I like the body diversity Elm introduces with her muscles and Vine... existed... but overall I think with the time they had, they did get to establish themselves well. I wish I could say that about their relationship with Team RWBYORNJ but this is the Nice Section so we’ll leave it there for now.

This is one of the best shots of the entire season. I adore it. God I like the Teryx design.

E) God the villains rocked this year! 

I am a villain whore. I own that. I will embrace that monkier. But when they’re as cool as this, I feel validated in this Chilli’s tonight. Watts and Tyrian really make the season shine and don’t have a dud scene all season. They have great chemistry together, shining bright in even the weakest or most mediocre episodes. Watts went from “Oh yeah you exist” tier to “Oh yeah you rule” tier. His vendetta against Ironwood feels so real and pre-established, even though this season is the first time it’s ever come up. Watts just ozzes style in everything he does. The animators bring him to life and make every step, every flick of his twist and even just how he moves his eyes all bleed contempt. He’s such a rat and I love him! Chris Sabat finally gets to stretch his wings after a few years playing Watts as just Evil Scientist Guy, and he makes the most of it. 

And Tyrian remains an absolute treat. He didn’t get much in V6 but here he takes center stage with Watts and also gets so much impact because of it. All the little twitches, and tilting of his heads, and dramatic gestures, he’s still just so goddamn cool to watch and we even get a little backstory of him. I know he’s irredeemable. But I just want to watch Tyrian kill people and scream. Like hot damn his line “THE GRIMM SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED OUR ENEMIES, NOT MADE THEM FRIENDS!” is so fucking raw. He’s having fun destablizing a nation with his boyfriend! 

“You want more chaos than a Grimm invasion?” “If anyone on Remannt can do it, wouldn’t it be you?” There is no heterosexual explanation for how these two look at each other and yes this is me outing myself as a Nuts and Volts fan.

Watts and Tyrian really do become the absolute highlights of the season alongside James. They have a great dynamic and even during their more slower moments there’s so much care and thought put into their every mannerism. Animators, seriously, great job, I love what you did. And their fights... we’ll get there. But they’re so goddamn good. 

Look they even run the same! They’re soulmates! 

Honorary mention to Salem by the way. She’s only in two scenes but her presence is felt throughout Ironwood’s arc and his growing fear of her and she damn well delivers when she shows up. That shot of her arriving in person is a killer shot to end on as well.

Oh and I guess Cinder and Neo exist don’t they? Eh, we’ll come back to them. 

F) Oscar got a character arc!

Finally! He did it! He got an arc that began, continued and ended all onscreen! It only took four tries! 

But yeah Oscar had a really good set of scenes in Volume 7. I like him being the first to confront Ruby on the Ironwood lie, bringing up the hypocrisy after their condemning of Ozpin just last season. I like him having a more forward role (outside of not getting to be part of the celebration in episode 4 what the hell guys), and that he’s the big link between RWBY and Ironwood was a great call. Having Ozpin shelved for one more season so Oscar can take center-stage was an inspired choice. I love his dynamic with Ironwood, and how James closing himself off emotionally gets reflected in how he begins slipping in how he refers to Oscar, starting off as treating him and Oz as separate, ending with him gunning Oscar down as he doesn’t care anymore to differentiate the two.

My big issues with Oscar’s arc are that I’m first of all annoyed at the lack of followup on the Oscar stuff from V6, I’m still waiting for Qrow to apologize for punching Oscar guys! I also really wish Neo’s first attack wasn’t offscreen. CRWBY’s cliffhanger fetish meant I got to break out the Offscreen Pine jokes again. And of course, the Neo hallway punch was a bit bullshit.

G) (Most of) The fights are amazing

There’s no punchline. These fights are great, two of them are in my Top 10 Series Wide fights list and at least the duds aren’t Volume 5 bad.

If you’d told me before Volume 7 that Watts would get an extended firefight with James, I’d have felt that a bit cheap as Watts to me doesn’t feel like a fighter, more a planner who hides behind armies of mechanical soldiers. But damn if they didn’t sell me on Watts “You’ve yeed your last haw” Watts whipping out a Glock just to spite James. 

This is another one of my favorite shots in the entire series.

Ironwood vs Watts is potentially my favorite fight in the entire series, and if it’s not, it’s easy Top 3 alongside Yang vs Mercury and Pyrrha vs CRDL/Mercury. It makes great use of Amity in the abandoned gravity biome meant for SSSN vs JNPR, with Ironwood and Watts deftly moving around in a manner that very easily could have been difficult to track with the constantly shifting gravity, but the crew do their best to keep it coherent as to who’s where. The credits showed their dedication also stretched into visual continuity, as James and Arthur’s route throughout the Arena was carefully considered so they’d loop around organically. 

This is what I mean when I say the crew went above and beyond to keep things clean.

Ironwood vs Watts could have easily failed to impress, given its lack of choreography on the level the series usually does, but the team’s efforts went instead into showing a situation that lets Watts get a dragged out battle: James wins whenever he closes the distance here, so Arthur’s constantly on the run and being forced to tamper with the arena. Great camerawork, a GOD TIER song from Caleb Hyles that I’m still listening to today, and two characters with a fantastic history coming to blows makes for easily the best fight of the season and a series-wide highlight. Watching it develop from storyboards, to mocap, to animations and the full version is a delight to see. This is what CRWBY can do when everything comes togehter. The orchestra’s all tuned. It’s a goddamn symphony.

THIS is my favorite shot of the season.

Tyrian also gets to shine with his two battles this year. His alley fight with Qrow, Robyn and Clover is short but sweet, the corvid and the scorpion especially trading brutal blows in the cramped space. Qrow goes full Devil May Cry with his style-switching here, Harbinger being swapped between sword, tonfa and gun forms freely alongside Qrow applying The Power of Punching. His 1v1v1 with Clover and Qrow though is the true highlight of the season in terms of choreography. It’s lighting-fast, and has some impeccable shot work. Qrow gets to use his scythe with deliberate nods to the Red Trailer, Clover gets to shut up everyone who doubted his weapon, and Tyrian is just along for the ride and he makes the most of it. It’s frentic, it’s heart-pounding, it’s everything a fight should be. 

Honorary mentions as well go to Ace Ops vs the Geist, which is just really fun and has a great backing music choice, the opening battle with Sabre having Ruby’s obligatory ten seconds of fighting that come at the start of every new era of the series, and the Ace Ops vs RWBY fight which has some good choreo in places.

H) Winter and Penny have good chemistry

I don’t have a ton to add here, I just like their dynamic and how they advance each other’s arcs. It’s nice writing. I also like Winter apologizing to Penny when she’s angry at Jacques and takes it out on Penny by accident with the “You wouldn’t understand” line.

Penny as a Maiden is a nice idea, I think her new design is cute. Penny says trans rights.

Those are a lot of my favorite things about Volume 7. It’s a killer season when it’s firing on all cylinders but unfortunately... it often misfires in frustrating ways, many of which are unfortunately due to core emblematic problems with the series that won’t go away.

2) The Bad Stuff

A) The costumes

It’s been a over year. It’s low hanging fruit. I don’t care. Most of them are still not good and they’re ludicrously over-designed.

Blake’s in a fetish suit and I wonder how she even goes to the bathroom. Weiss just looks like an abino Sabre alt, Yang is what a Halloween costume site would describe as “Sexy UPS Driver,” (why does she have a thigh window) Ruby... looks fine, it’s one of her better costumes. Jaune’s hair is silly, Ren’s model has lost some muscle definition and he looks like an e-boy, Nora’s costume really doesn’t fit the Atlas visual design and looks like a rejected Kingdom Hearts costume. Cinder’s is too black and I actually can’t track her in darker scenes because of it (which is kinda bad during... a fight scene... where I need to know where she is...), Neo looks like a Ren Fair cosplayer doing a bit for her OnlyFans, Winter’s is anatomically weird with super skinny arms and legs, and Blake’s hair is a fucking hate crime. 

Qrow’s is one I liked at first but in retrospect it does feel like a downgrade. To quote @h-e-m-o-goblin​ from a Discord chat:

in a show like rwby, where color is such a vital defining aspect of every character, a cohesive colorscheme goes a long way. qrow's original outfit works great in this regard. neutral tones. greys, whites, and blacks, with red accents that pop against the otherwise sparse color. it's good! it's distinctive! it doesn't feel cluttered and it doesn't look like a clown vomited on him! the subdued colors really lend themselves to the grey, cynical energy qrow seems to carry with him. a literal lack of color in his life. the outfit itself feels like something he would wear; a combination of "clearly trying to look cool" and "a little disheveled and laid back." the design breathes, it isn't cluttered. let's contrast this with his vol 7 outfit. a lot of outfits in vol 7 suffer from this problem, but first and foremost it doesn't look like something he would wear. where his old outfit had a casual feel to it, his new look feels like someone dressed him up for a family christmas dinner. it's too... tidy. now of course you could argue this is him "cleaning up his life," but i dont feel like you have to sacrifice his own personal style in order to convey that. if that's really what they were going for, they easily could have just, oh i dont know, given him a cape that isn't tattered???

remember how i said qrow's original outfit really made his colors pop? how less is more when it comes to having a character with a specific color theme? vol 7 butchered that. we suddenly have articles of clothes that are tinted with greenish blue tones, browns, and with gold trim? on TOP of the old colors he already had in his design. it's muddy. it's ugly. the burgundy vest is fine, if they wanted to work more color into his outfit they should have done it that way throughout, shades of grey and different tones of RED. his COLOR. it just feels like they tacked so much on there without a second thought and i really think he deserves better. its just. such a mess.

The ones I did like were Watts’ new coat (I like the puffy hood), Penny’s is fine, the Ace Ops look great, Ironwood’s new outfit is stellar (those last six are great examples of how to do a lot with just primary colors of white and red), Neon’s Jolyne cosplay is cute and Flynt is slick. Otherwise, Volume 7 feels like it’s taken a lot of the wrong lessons from the costume design of the earlier seasons. Less is often more but now it feels like they have a pathological aversion to empty space on the costumes, leading them to feel like... costume vomit for lack of a better word. I didn’t love the Mistral outfits, but their modifications at least were carried by how many of them called back to the Fall of Beacon and emphasized the themes of loss in Volume 4. The new Atlas outfits... don’t have that shared theme. It feels like a hodgepodge of different design influences without trying to find a way to unify them. It’s like putting Baki the Grappler beside My Little Pony, they just fail to mesh.

Also for fuck’s sake already CRWBY just give the girls muscles already.

2) JNR suck and Ren’s arc is glorified character assassination

I don’t love JNR. They’re fine, but the show has arguably not needed them for a while and while I’ve liked them all at different points, it’s never been adoration outside of Ren in Volume 4. I was cool with the idea of them staying in Argus to help cover Mistral after its Huntsmen were wiped out, and Volume 7 has... made me wish they did that.

Jaune is just comic relief, and it kinda blows for later reasons but the big one is that he’s just not very funny. His big role in Volume 7 is basically to crosswalk some kids so we can have a joke scene during the Mantle Battle where Jaune uses his tactical genius to teach people to walk in single file. I feel like at this point Miles is just actively trying to kill Jaune’s fandom out of spite for how badly Jaundice was received. He’s never allowed to be cool or try and redeem himself. His hatedom aren’t going to stop hating Jaune because he gets more comedy guys. They’re going to stop when you write Jaune well. It’s a bummer he got some genuinely great upgrades for his sword and shield and never gets to use them outside of the opening. 

Nora exists. She got a surprising amount of focus this season in that she got focus of any kind. I liked her confronting Ironwood over his choking of Mantle because we know she was once the kind of person Ironwood would have been stifling. I like her being the one to realize the loophole in Jinn’s “You can’t” line. I don’t like much else about Nora this year, or at least the Nora the writing team are pushing. She’s not funny like Jaune but Nora just absorbs so much screentime in the first half with her constant shrieking. Sam Ireland has good range but making Nora into Discount Harley Quinn is pushing her out of it. She sounds shrill, making Nora sound like she has no heart outside of the election rally. A shrill voice is one thing. A shrill voice that never lands a single joke? Yeah that character is tainted by association. 

And Ren... oh God Ren what happened to you.

The Volume 7 commentary confirmed a suspicion of mine that Ren’s arc was heavily cut down from what was planned. Even watching V7 I could tell his arc was bare-bones at best, and it’s downright character assassination in places. Why is he suddenly so cold to Nora? Why is he now so obsessed with training? Why does he side with Ironwood for all of... one line which is this last between episodes 7 and 11. Ren only has two hundred words of dialoge in Volume 7 and they feel so weird in places. Ren goes from seemingly disliking Nora, to kissing her, to never referencing the kiss, to partaking in the Worst Scene Of The Season, all with no consistency. It’s not even threadbare. Ren’s arc just has no connecting tissue for so much of it! It’s insane how badly Ren was hurt by this, and I shudder to wonder how bad his Volume 8 arc will be because you know that was one of the first plotlines they cut down on when they inevitably overreached again. 

I don’t know how they made Renora kissing feel unearned? But by God they found a way with how much of a trainwreck Ren’s writing is in regards to tainting this. 

If Ironwood is an example of RWBY doing character writing well, Ren is the mirror image of how badly they can do. JNR really suffered from Volume 7 (also fun fact, Ren has about 200 words of dialogue? Ironwood has 4400). Maybe not to the level of irredeemable dislike? But very close to being on the same tier as Cinder of “Just go away already.”  I’m not looking forward to their content in Volume 8. 

3) RWBY themselves are poorly handled in Volume 7

It’s unfortunate that the actual title characters of the series are also some of this season’s weaker links. RWBY feel... superfluous to this season in a way they’ve never felt before. It’s baffling how much of the season doesn’t change if you just don’t include them, and apparently Volume 7′s first draft? Was even worse.

The commentary says that many of the RWBY moments were added later in production. Stuff like Ruby and Renora at the rally, Blake and Yang’s talk with Robyn and Ruby and Qrow’s chat were all either added in near the end of the writing or were “low priority” enough that they could have been cut which is... veyr alarming that’s stuff even the main protags have to worry about! 

Ruby feels half-baked. I was looking forward to her in V7 after how V6 gave her a more dynamic personality and the focus she got in Brunswick, and having Penny’s return had me interested in seeing Ruby grapple with her emotions about it. She watched Penny die, how would it influence her to see Penny back and OK? Good question, we never get to see it. Ruby’s just OK with Penny’s return, the one time they touch on it Penny immediately glosses over it. Ruby just goes back to her old happy go lucky persona where any and all negative emotions are immediately forced down instead of confronting them and growing from them. I’m getting a little tired of Ruby bottling her grief and being teased about finally getting her snapping like a Twix Bar. We finally got her crying and it lasted all of ten seconds. And it doesn’t help that Ruby’s still getting shafted for fights. Her scythe choreography has no excuse being as flacid as it is now after Qrow vs Clover showed they can do scythe fighting! Why is Ruby being upstaged by (let’s be real) a supporting character! Why is she being limited to ten seconds of good combat then nothing for the rest of the season outside of flimsily swinging it or shooting. It’s disappointing, especially after how good V6 Ruby was.

I swear, Gravity’s not just my favorite episode of the season just because Ruby finally cries in it.

Weiss was kinda just done dirty though. At least Ruby has a good outfit. Weiss confronting her father has been a long standing plot thread for the series, it’s been Weiss’s Big Thing since the White Trailer. And when Jacques finally appears, he’s very... bland. He’s just evil corporate dude who exists less as an obstacle for Weiss and more just a roadblock for the plot through the election. Weiss finally gets a chance to take her father down and work to redeem her family name... but instead of earning said victory and it being treated with the same gravitas and emotional weight as Blake defeating Adam... Weiss has her victory handed to her. And it’s played for comedy by her abusrdly attractive mother. 

Listen, I like I Willow Schnee. I think she’s a fascinating character and I like the idea of a person who is aware of the harm they’ve done by accident but is too broken to fix the issues she accidentally left. I love her calling Weiss out on her treatment of Whitley. But she is absolutely a Deus Ex Machina that exists to get Jacques out of the plot as fast as possible. You mean to tell me Hackerman Watts never once made sure Jacques had hidden cameras? Or that none of the staff found Willow’s cameras and reported them under the assumption they were White Fang spies? It’s so... convenient. It’s handing Weiss her victory on an unearned platter. Which sucks. I was really looking forward to Weiss beating Jacques. Instead she just gets given the plot device while JNR engage in the Worst Scene of The Season in that Whitley food stunt.

Me whenever I’m asked to rewatch Cordially Invited

Blake and Yang have much the same problems, in they never separate. I know they’re going to be together. I know CRWBY are making it canon (get it over with already). I still would like Yang and Blake to have individual character scenes. I’d like Blake and Marrow to talk about being a Faunus Huntsman in Atlas (another thing that got cut thanks to Robyn Hill). I want Yang and Ironwood to discuss their PTSD and have Yang thank Ironwood for his trust in her that he commissioned the arm despite Yang attacking Mercury. I want Blake to be well animated in fight scenes so she’s doing more than just jobbing so Yang looks better. I want Yang to stop hogging all the good Team RWBY choeography. I want them to interact with other characters and continue to grow instead of feeling like two halves of one character. And no, making a meta joke of how Blake and Yang don’t talk to other people doesn’t make it OK. It just means you’re self aware about your own faults. 

(Also give Yang better merch or quit the favoritism. If you’re gonna milk her, put effort into it beyond crapply overpriced flannel. RT’s merch store is actively making me hate Yang.)

Team RWBY’s biggest contribution to the season is the Ironwood Lie which is... a can of worms. They certainly had a point in withholding some of the bigger truths from James but I feel by Pomp and Cirumstance he’d proven himself truthwrothy enough to warrant being told the truth about Salem. But then when he’s finally told the truth, it’s offscreen’d and the consequence isn’t “Why didn’t you tell me earlier” but “Fucking Ozpin man.” Gravity has it bite them in the ass, but it’s more an accessory to Yang and Blake telling Robyn about the Amity tower. I wish more had been done with the team disagreeing on whether the lie was a good choice or not, maybe have Yang be hardline against it due to her own “No more lies and half truths” policy instead of... having Yang tell more lies and half truths (Commentary confirms she never told Ruby and Weiss about the Robyn stuff BTW). But that’s a wider problem where RWBY aren’t allowed to disagree beyond surface level “I don’t know if this is the right call” dialogue. There’s never a threat of one of them cracking and just spilling the beans to James, everyone just blindly trusts Ruby and Qrow tells the audience “No this is different from when Ozpin lied. Trust us.” 

This is the most RWBY get for content in the season finale: Ruby just nuking Cinder with no difficulty after having trouble with the eyes three episodes ago. Kinda lame tbh.

Team RWBY are just disappointing in Volume 7. They’re not given good animation, their story roles are largely insignificant, the impact of their roles on the story is threadbare and... well most of their costumes suck don’t @ me even CRWBY have admitted Blake and Weiss’s haircuts looked bad. It’s a whole barrage of a letdown for the main girls. And it’s really sad that the best scenes of the season... are usually the ones where RWBY are nowhere in sight.

Why the hell didn’t Yang get to keep the sunglasses come on guys. One job.

4) Robyn, the election plot, and the Happy Huntresses

Oh God, Robyn Hill is... not great. I could and likely will write a full meta on her character and how they bungled it but I’ll just be blunt here: I don’t like her design, the colors don’t mesh well, he head’s too small, Christina Vee is sleeping through the role and her weapon’s lame. Introducing her in a scene where she threatens to attack our heroes, and her agents are actively sneaking up on them to do it, is not a great first impression for a hometown hero. And that the commentary thinks she’s meant to be the hero in that scene is... staggering. 

RWBY’s greatest threat yet is a wine mom Karen and her Home Owners Association army. 

The election plot is less a misfire and more the engine just exploding. There’s so little good content between when it’s introduced and concluded, with it usually being individual scenes that are more good in spite of their connection to the plot (such as Tyrian’s massacre). It drags in pacing, going on for nearly half the season between episodes 5 and 10, and it purely exists as a roadblock to keep RWBY spinning their wheels while Watts and Tyrian keep going with the main plot. I don’t know why CRWBY went for this plot. They could have easily had something else fill the gap that also allowed for a lot of the character beats (such as Marrow and Blake’s talk and Ren’s entire arc) to shine, or at least condensed it to the important elements instead of letting it become bloated. It ends in such an unsatisfying way where Willow just shows up and goes “We have four episode left, here’s the plot device to beat Jacques, get back ot the main plot.” If they wanted to do the election plot, the best route would have been to give Volume 7 more episodes or stretch out its events to two seasons, but neither is realistically possible while RWBY lives off the teat of AT&T. 

Jacques and Robyn are just boring. Evil corporate man and a lame adaptation of Robyn Hood who only has fans because of thirst who also like downplaying Robyn making a racist remark at Marrow (to say nothing of that weird subsection of Robyn fans who make her a Fox Faunus who cut her tail off to join Atlas Academy which is... certainly a creative choice especially when Marrow and Neon are punching holes in that angsty BS backstory). They can’t carry this plot and the artifical attempts to make it seem more exciting with the two cliffhaners ending on Mantle under riot or Grimm attack are laughably cut short by the next episode in each case opening the morning after. On binge watch it becomes weirdly funny more than anything and that’s not a good reaction. The dual cliffhangers being cheaply resolved is a short but succint example of V7′s pacing issues, and they almost always loop around to the election plot being too bloated, slow and just boring.

Also the Happy Huntresses are just... lame. I like their Semblances but that’s it. Fiona’s OK because she gets some screentime but May’s just “the surly one” and Joanna doesn’t even get her Semblance or much dialogue (oh wow she really is just a female Sage Ayana isn’t she). Robyn should not have been leading the HH and running for Council. That’s really stupid. And kind of wrong. Having May or Fiona be running instead while Robyn leads the team in relief efforts would have been better and could have split the focus more effeciently instead of leaving May and especially Joanna feelng like roster padding. There’s also some delicious irony in the show trying to frame the HH as the resistance fighting for the people and representing individuality, only for them all to have the same boring outfit and weapons (I think even the exact same model just with different sizes) while the Ace Ops are meant to be the military drones who are “Just following orders,” only for them to be more racially diverse, more diverse body-type-wise, and have more unique weapons. It’s another one of those odd creative dissconnects between what the writers wanted and what the artists/animation teams chose to do. 

The election plot is overall toxin for Volume 7, and Robyn in my opinion, has one of the worst introductory scenes of any character in the franchise (and CRWBY have tacitly admitted that V7 had a character they were surprised at how controversial they were, which has to be Robyn). In a year where they were already juggling so much content and characters, adding in this bloated subplot was something I don’t think anyone wanted, especially now that we know we lost so much content on the sacrificial altar for this. It’s a black mark on the season and I don’t really care for the return of the Happy Huntresses or Robyn in Volume 8. None of them are interesting enough to care for outside of meta reasons like “cute.” 

Also fuck you Fiona, can’t believe you got a shirt before Ironwood. 

5) Cinder and Neo sure exist

To be fair, this is one of Cinder’s best years, easily her best since Volume 3 but that’s more because Cinder in the Mistral era was crap. (And if I wanna be cruel, because Cinder wasn’t in two thirds of the season)Her fans were finally vindicated after years of telling anyone who dunked on Cinder that “nooooo she has a super covert backstory that’s gonna be amazing when it’s revealed! You’ll see!” And well they finally got it. All of one line during a fight about how Cinder “refuses to starve.” 

It’s still something so I guess we have to take it. Seriously... how do we still not have Cinder’s backstory. 

There’s just not a ton to say about Cinder and Neo in V7 barring I that don’t think they needed to be here. They feel very superfluous and just here to have a big boss fight in Cinder’s case alongside continuing her streak of ending the odd numbered seasons fighting a female side character... which for me became an exercise in tyring to find during Cinder during the damn fight.

And this is why when most people saw Cinder’s V6 outfit they went “It’s gonna be hard to see her in darker environments,” then were vindicated when it became legit difficult to see Cinder in this scene. God if they at least just made the inside of the cape red it’d be easier.

Neo is Neo, which means she makes funny faces and mocks Cinder (I like that), but she doesn’t get a super good fight which uh... we’ll get to. I’m interested to see her finally exploding at Cinder and going for a backstab, but really Neo in V7 was kinda hit hard by the double whammy of the Oscar Hallway Punch and how humiliating ORNJ vs Neo was for ORNJ. Cinder’s definitely had far worse years and after how aimless she was in Mistral this feels like a sep in the right direction, but at this point CRWBY just need to shut up and tell us her deal. It’s been seven years guys. Come on. At least make her interesting if she’s gonna say around. They’ve had worse years, but unfortunately Cinder and Neo’s role in the finale leads into...

6) Some of the fights weren’t good

I wanna be clear, I like most of Volume 7′s fights. It’s just a bummer the worst ones are back and back and make up a chunk of the finale. ORNJ vs Neo is just crap. It’s the worst fight since the Battle of Haven. There’s nothing else I can say, it’s poorly animated, paced, choreographed and written. JNR especially are made to look like complete jokes after they spent all season training, to the point where it looks like V2 Yang could solo V7 JNR after this. Oscar I expect this from because he’s not allowed to have fun stuff onscreen after accidentally stealing the Haven budget for his fight with Hazel, but JNR were just done dirty. There were ways to make the fight work in a way where Neo still won but JNR looked good. They went for the worst possible outcome that just leaves Neo looking like she got fan-wanked and JNR looking like they’re just not allowed to be cool due to Miles’ spite at the Jaune-Self Insert stuff (and that’s not even getting into JNR being forced to run from lame rent a cops who can’t even handle a single Grimm). Cinder vs Winter and Penny isn’t much better, with her dark outfit making it very hard to track the fight because she blends into the background too well. It’s not a great showing for Winter or Penny given their earlier feats but, hey, some random female character had to fight Cinder in this odd numbered volume, carrying on Glynda, Pyrrha and Raven’s tradition. It’s at least better than ORNJ vs Neo, but that’s really not saying anything. At least Cinder’s VA work isn’t too bad this time but this fight commits the cardinal sin of a finale fight: It’s just not super interesting because we know Cinder can’t kill both Winter and Penny and she’s not becoming a Maiden, while Winter’s been too blatantly set up so it has to be Penny.

RWBY vs the Ace Ops also gets a dishonorable mention due to the choreography on display here... and the lack of it for Weiss, Blake and Ruby. Ruby never once swings Crescent Rose the entire fight and is just reduced to getting the tar kicked out of her by Harriet. Weiss barely gets to use her sword and largely just sticks to her summoning and glyphs which makes for a very visually uninteresting fighting style at the best of times. Blake just swings around and gets caught by the bad guys so Yang is motivated to fight stronger. She never dual wields (again) and her best moves are just setting up Yang to do all the hard work while Yang gets to personally KO two of the Ace Ops. There’s a lot that can be said about whether or nor RWBY earn the win, but while the animation team try to sell the Ace Ops landing heavy hits, having only Blake’s Aura even flicker really undercuts the idea from the commentary that this wasn’t meant to be a stomp for RWBY and they had to work together and be in synch to win.

Which is why Yang solos two of the Ace Ops whle Blake plays support, Weiss beats Marrow alone and then kill steals Harriet from Ruby, all while the song playing is an extended diss track from RWBY to the Ace Ops about how badass they are now, and the commentary itself says the Ace Ops are hard carried by Clover’s Semblance (because you gotta love basically saying four POC were only competent because a white guy led them, and then have them lose because said white guy wasn’t around to carry them!). Great job guys, you really sold it.

And talking of Clover, I feel it worth mentioning Qrow vs Clover vs Tyrian. It’s animation wise near perfect, but unfortunately I do feel it would be remiss to not mention that I feel the writing really has to bend over backwards to justify this fight. A lot of it is stuff I would say in that hypothetical Robyn essay, but I feel Robyn, Qrow and Clover all have to become massive idiots for this specific sequence of events to occur, and for Clover especially every retroactive attempt to explain why he prioritized Qrow over Tyrian just sounds more and more desperate. Between the references to MCU Captain America (a person whose entire arc is about learning when it’s OK to defy bad orders) or the attempt in the commentary to say “Oh Clover thought it would be easier to take out Tyrian alone instead of Qrow,” none of them land and just further drive home how much the plot had to stretch and reach to get that moment of Tyrian killing Clover. I like the fight. But I hate the road the show took to get there.

Some of the misc fights are also weak like ORNJ vs FNKI and elements of the Mantle Grimm battle, but those are the big offenders. Otherwise, again, the fights are largely good. 

7) The soundtrack wasn’t... great

I mean the vocal songs only, don’t crucify me. Trust Love is just lamer Let’s Just Live/Triumph, Celebrate and Let’s Get Real are so boring I thought they were the same song until the OST dropped, Brand New Day is boringly peppy and Jeff’s vocals are dreadful. I completely forgot Touch the Sky until I was checking the tracklist to make sure I didn’t forget any songs. War has good singers but tries to sell the RWBY-Ace Ops bond as way deeper than it was. The lack of a villain song did really sting though, those are always the highlights.

There are good songs. I really like Fear, I feel it encapsulates the themes of the volume well and serves as a good condemnation of Ironwod’s mentality. Until The End is finally the Ruby song I’ve waited for since Red Like Roses 2 and I enjoy that she got a melancholic song, and Hero is easily, hands down, best track of the record and probably best RWBY track, full stop. Caleb killed it, I loved the second verse, opening opera was strong, guitar riffs were a plenty. Stellar work all around for that one.

The OST has great work from Jeff and Alex as usual, but the Jeff and Casey songs are really starting to lose their appeal. Going for a peppy feel this year didn’t help cover the cracks that are beginning to show with RWBY’s vocal songs (especially Jeff’s vocal range), and while a few standouts remain such as Fear and Hero, they are the slim minority in an otherwise very boring vocal tracklist that barely scrapes above Volume 5 for weakest set yet.

8) It wasn’t as funny as it thought it was

Comedy is subjective but man a lot of these jokes didn’t land. RWBY really needs to realize that does work in traditional 2D does not translate into 3D and just comes off as making official reaction GIFs for your Twitter account. Making characters SUDDENY SCREAM LOUDLY is not good banter. Please stop making Nora into Harley Quinn. Marrow was probably the most consistently funny character but that was it. Also I dunno why CRWBY thought Forrest was funny or what the deal was with that FRWBY crap. 

“Honorary” mention to the JNR food scene in Cordially Invited which is genuinely one of the worst scenes in the entire show and I hope whoever animated it has their save files deleted for a game where they were about to beat the final boss. Nothing sums up JNR’s pointlessness in the series more perfectly than this.

C) Conclusion

See what I mean about Volume 7 being frustrating? 

It’s weird that I overal think of Volume 7 as a mid-tier volume. There’s so much here I genuinely adore, with some of the best stuff to do with the show coming out of this season (barring lame, overpriced merch that feels like clothing gacha), but simultaneously the whole thing is let down by outside circumstances that unfortunately are ones the show can’t ever really recover from. Put bluntly, Volume 7 is the most technically proficient season of the show with the best lighting, backdrops, (some of the) character models, etc. CRWBY definitely didn’t slack off this year, but the problem isn't with them. It’s with the writing. A wider reaching problem is just that Miles and Kerry can’t really improve to the level that the series now requires. Eddy and Kiersei’s first season could have gone far worse, but it definitely was notable whenever they took over. Volume 7’s core problems are fourfold: The comedy is terrible and none of the jokes really land, the season focuses on the wrong plots and gives them too much effort, too many episodes are spent building up to new plots only for them to be weakly resolved (especially the Mantle Riot/Grimm attacks that are shoved off-screen), and the character bloat strikes hard here and leaves a lot of the cast feeling like dead weight. CRWBY don’t need more writers. They need more editors willing to tell the team what has to go instead of them hemming and hawing themselves on if they if they can include a plotline. The election never should have gotten past its first draft, there was too much already in this season before adding that.

When this is an unironic shot in your series... you’ve got character bloat issues.

At this point, I think JNR need to go. The show had no idea what to do with them throughout the season, leading to Jaune just being comic relief while Ren and Nora became characters I actively dislike. Renora was the easiest ship in the show to land, and they still managed to blow the engines and ram at least three icebergs just to prove that RWBY can’t romance to save its life. Team RWBY themselves are little better, with Ruby’s feelings about Penny’s return being shelved, Weiss’s victory against Jacques feeling un-earned and undercut by comedy, while Yang and Blake are benched for the volume and become a singular entity with how tied at the hip they are. Maria basically yeeted herself out of the show and I didn’t notice, Pietro is just a death flag, and while the Ace Ops had a good intro, it was undercooked by how they had to play the villain role to give RWBY something to do in the final hours. Cinder and Neo didn’t need to be here. Robyn had one of the worst introductions for a character I’ve ever seen, I never enjoyed her moments and it genuinely feels like she only has a fandom because RWBY’s community are in fact that desperate. 

On the brighter side, Ironwood’s arc is fucking perfect and Jason Rose deserves all the love. Great fight, great song, great design, love the beard, it was a perfect downfall for Volume 7’s true protagonist. Qrow had a fun volume and I loved his dynamic with Clover (I don’t see the ship stuff but that’s more because I’m an IronQrow main so my blinders were on). Clover was also way cooler than I remembered. His fights stood out but the guy’s just really cool at the end of the day, with Chris doing great work as a VA. Oscar even managed to do stuff this year which was a shock and a half, but a welcome shock and a half. I didn’t mention it, but the Ozpin fear monologue is one of my favorite scenes in the entire show and it and the Ironwood/Oscar confrontation in the vault save the finale. And of course, Watts and Tyrian were the MVPs. I don’t have a bad word about either of them, they fucking nailed their roles and I can’t wait to see them again. 

And that’s kind of what I mean when I say Volume 7 flummoxes me. It’s frustrating at times with how it handles seemingly easy tasks and drops the ball. Renora went from “everyone liked that” to wondering how badly Ren’s stuff got butchered for him to be the way he is. RWBY themselves could be almost entirely cut and so little would change, and the fact that the finale basically hinges its entire emotional stakes on Winter, Penny and Oscar is a staggering call. And it really feels like the season was compressed beyond necessity because they decided going in that Volume 7 had to end on Salem’s arrival. There’s two volumes worth of material here, and maybe it would have been best to have broken up these events. Volume 7 does too much in too little time, and RWBY especially suffered from it. But when it works… it’s good. Never close to the highs of Volumes 6 or 3, but there’s genuinely good material here. The fights are mostly getting better with far less missteps than previously, the acting (mostly) continues to improve and it’s obvious that RWBY is a very good looking show at this point. Ironwood’s arc is franchise-wide highs, I loved Clover, and Marrow remains the best boi. But it’s frustrating that despite all the tech advances Volume 7 has made, it still makes such threadbare, rookie writing mistakes in cast management, comedy and character arcs. I’m glad Miles and Kerry finally realized that they needed more writers, but it won’t mean anything if the show just continues to circle the drain on the core mistakes it’s been making since 2013. Volume 7 has good in it. But I can see where it could have been great.

Thanks for reading, stan IronQrow and please get Whitley a therapist.

And for the love of God already make an Ironwood vs Watts shirt! 

[nah-she-didnt]

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Dazed 

Loud rock music thudded across the packed common room. A banner that read “Go Go Gryffindor!” hung suspended in midair above the celebrating students. In the corner, a fifth year boy served as bartender, mixing goblets of colorful smoking liquids for the already-intoxicated partygoers. 

Gryffindor had done it. They’d won the quidditch cup for the third time in five years. The game had ended in a stunning double play. James Potter made a miraculous goal against the Hufflepuff keeper precisely three seconds before Riane Kelly, the Gryffindor seeker, had caught the snitch, winning the game by just one point. The unexpected comeback sent the entire house into such a fit of celebration that the party still raged well beyond midnight. 

James sat on a couch in front of the roaring fire watching Sirius and Remus play a drinking game on the carpet. They took turns throwing their wands into the air, letting them spin wildly for a moment, then land back on the floor. Whichever way the want pointed, that boy would drink. Peter, a lightweight, snored beside James, hiccuping in his sleep every now and then. 

“Me again!” cheered Sirius, nearly falling over onto his side in excitement. He took a long swig from his nearly empty glass of smoking blue drink. 

“I think you’ve had enough, mate,” grinned James, who felt pleasantly drunk, but would certainly be less hungover than Sirius tomorrow. 

Remus waved a hand at James lazily. “Oh, piss off, quidditch hero. I quite like watching him drink.” 

“You hear that James? I think he likes me,” Sirius grinned, lunging forward to tackle Remus. “Quick, love, catch me,” 

Remus laughed and caught Sirius, rolling over so they lay on the carpet together laughing. James decided it was time for a refill. His friends weren’t likely to resurface for several minutes at least. 

He stood up gingerly as to avoid waking Peter and made his way to the corner bar. As he approached, a long mane of dark red hair swam into his view. He ran a hand quickly through his hair. 

“Alright, Evans?” he said cooly, motioning to the bartender for another drink. 

Lily glanced at him, then back at the party unfolding in front of her, “Potter.” 

James grinned. “Oh, come on, that’s all you have to say? I think I deserve just a little bit of praise, don’t you?”

Lily looked determined to ignore James, but he was pleased to see a small smile play at the corners of her mouth. “You think so, do you?” 

“Well, I know quidditch isn’t your cup of tea, but take it from me, I played splendidly tonight.” 

Lily’s eyes flashed. “Wow, really? Please, tell me more, you’re so knowledgable and fascinating.” 

James, catching the sarcasm in her tone, held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright, that’s fair. Tell me what you thought of the match, then.” 

Lily considered for a moment, still determinedly at the crowd instead of him. “Let’s see,” she said slowly, “I disagreed with your use of the Padilla Formation after Hufflepuff’s fourth goal, but thought your execution of the Ballycastle Barrel Roll to dodge that bludger before your third goal was impressive.” Lily smirked at his dumbfounded expression, “close your mouth, Potter, you’ll catch flies.”

James gaped at her. “Blimey,” he laughed, “I don’t think I’ve ever fancied you more than I do right now.” 

Lily rolled her eyes. “Oh good, because the only reason I know any of that is so that I can earn your approval.” 

He laughed. “What I mean is that I had no idea you cared about quidditch at all.” 

Lily finally looked away from the party and into his eyes. She held his gaze for a second, then shrugged and turned away again. “Maybe there’s more to me than what meets the eye.” 

James felt dazed. The moment he spent looking into those dazzlingly green eyes had thrown him off balance. 

“Nah,” Lily laughed, “I don’t know jack shit about quidditch. I heard Eloise Shannon saying that stuff in the row in front of me during the game. Lily beamed at James. “But you believed me, didn’t you? I got you.” Then she winked and strolled back into the crowd. 

James watched her walk away, still feeling a bit lightheaded. “Yeah, you’ve got me.”  

[ermuellert]

enough waiting for the next bayern game let's have some fun (because our team loses sometimes but simp nation never does):

who, in your opinion, are our prettiest players, past or present? without considering things like personality/playing ability/loyalty etc. i would really just like to know who you think are the ones who could Get It based on looks alone

have a lovely day and i look forward to your liveblogging as always 🥰😊

omg... alright buckle in because my ass has no standards and many names to list here we go 💆🏻‍♀️

1. xabi. sexiest bayern player sexiest man alive etc etc that is a Man. he looks like he would build me a home and provide for me and that really strikes a chord in my body for those moments when feminism leaves it. hot, respectful, keeps his mouth mfing shut i never hear shit about him, and his temper problems on the pitch were also extra sexy when i wasn’t thinking about beating his ass for risking a red card. good memories. also i met him! and he is indeed very beautiful irl 

i’m not doing a ranking. i don’t know why i assigned number one to xabi but let’s keep going

mats, the infamous snake. there’s not a lot to say. he’s hot. he knows it. everybody knows it. he upped our collective squad’s hotness by several points when he was here... miss him why lie

leon is probably the biggest crowdpleaser in our current squad especially with his whoring i mean thirst trapping i mean Photographic Gifts For The Audience. i’ve had a 100% success rate getting people who know fuck all about football and do not care to know any more than that hooked on leon it’s actually absurd omfg personally, even pre-hulkretzka era, i always thought he was cute but whatever. another cute white boy. let’s keep it moving. now he’s pushing my taste for ripped dudes just because he is So Ripped but i won’t lie and say a few brain cells didn’t die that time he ripped his own jersey just by breathing. there are actually several photos of him which live in my head rent-free... but imo i like him more for his personality ... still including him because everyone is in love with him and because he is kind of undeniably conventionally attractive

lucas is hot in that fuckboy way that tells me to keep a 500 meter distance for emotional safety. obsessed with him and his huge ears. even his son has his ears it’s so cute...

and now my precious baby marc... he exudes boyfriendism. the most endearing smile ever. he looks like a sweetheart i would walk into oncoming traffic for him. also he has some range! goes from baby boy to very fine babe. i’ve sat and stared at this pic for long stretches of time before god bless

other sexy people: lewy (who, like leon, is testing my limits re: Rippedness but. he’s still hot idc), poldi (do you remember that video of him working out and his dick is just flopping about. what a moment), thiago (i miss him </3), and manu (phat ass nice arms... looks like he could do unspeakable things ... anyway)

i think benji is another crowdpleaser (tbt his Rise during wc18) because he’s Yet Another Cute White Boy and bitches here love to eat up a boy with some curls... can’t blame them though i think he’s cute but he’s another i like more for his personality... has a lot of himbo potential imo. if i only saw him on the street though i would think he was a cute basic bitch and move on i’m sorry 🤭

serge and his phat ass takes the cake though everybody please clap for my joke thank you ... i love him. he has kind eyes and a cute smile and of course. his dumptruck ass. a gift from god

ok. my last mention... there’s probably other hot bayern players i’ve forgotten that i will regret not including later but i’m ending it here on james.  i know he is ... controversial ... because some fans thought he didn’t seem 100% dedicated to bayern and his comments after leaving us didn’t help that impression but i don’t care. i was in love with that man i will always have a soft spot for that man and he is yet another madrid player i will forgive for his crimes. i almost bought his jersey too i miss that dude... cutest smile ever makes my heart do cartwheels. also i think about this moment in that video of him and thiago so often... he just sparks joy. babe. total babe

also ... what’s the consensus here on pizarro...... because to me there’s just Something About Him........

anyway anon thank you for this ask this was fun! but mostly thank you just for thinking to ask me this and being interested in my answer that’s just really sweet of you i appreciate it 😭 and double thank you for caring about my liveblogging ily omg